seriously? red velvet cupcakes aren't diet food? you swear it? damnit! i guess i need to add that to my memory bank. ok, ok so i DID know that. i couldn't bear to throw the last sprinkles red velvet cupcake into the trash as part of my rid the cabinets of all evil food in 2009 plan so i did a bad thing, i ates it :o) ooops! yes, that is right--i ate it for breakfast and im coming on here to confess. i know it was wrong but i felt so right :) alas, i am
movin' on.....
i did good for lunch though with some tuna and im trying as best as i can to work in the water. i decided seeing as i have 2 dinners out this week and some drama, ok alot of drama, and some things to take care of, im not going holy moly hard cord diet rambo until thursday, new years day. im sure that will raise some eyebrows but it is what i think will work for me and that is what i need to work on. i am going to go to the grocery store and stock up on good for you foods and make some healthy meals to freeze this weekend, for sure. i have my two new exercise dvd's ready and waiting to be popped in the vcr and just for good measure and motivation i watched the biggest loser finale again last night and cried like a baby, again!
so this is it, im ready. i have a doctor's appointment set for this month that im terrified of.....it's with the girlie doctor and i've never been more terrified--total deer in headlights horrified. since my miscarriage and the horrendous treatment i received from my last doctor who saldy has an empty black box where her heart once was, i have been left with some deep scars. i have built up this fear of it all…..i have decided to look for other doctors and i *think* my mom :) may have found a strong new contender. she has practiced for many years, went to a good medical school, has children of her own and has also experienced a miscarriage. so….here is to hoping I found a winner. i am terrified of the what ifs, what if she tells me this, what if she does tests and finds that, etc. i think i have paralyzed myself with fear, as i do in many aspects of my life. just say a prayer, think a good thought, if you think of it and if, anyone out there is reading :)
and no worries, i wont gorge until thursday--im gonna ween myself off the goods, slowly but surely. fair well to my wonderful friends coca-cola and cheeseburger--oh how i will miss you.
xo
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1 comment:
Hello my Haute friend :-)
I am so sorry that you fear the Dr. I think that is SO wrong of a Dr. to think he/she must have NO bedside manner in order to get a point across.
I too have always dreaded the Dr. This year, I sat quietly in my OB/GYN's office as he sat down, read my chart, looked up in surprise and said, "You've dropped 60 pounds since I last saw you? How??" You couldn't wipe a grin off of my face that day. You can and will do this because YOU ROCK!!
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